Tabloid update: “Glenn Beck Sex Tape Scandal!”

The Globe tabloid jumped right out of its rack in the supermarket checkout line tonight.

“Glenn Beck sex tape scandal!” it shouted as it swan-dived onto the conveyor belt, “and the mystery woman behind it!”

Really?

No, as it turns out, not really.

There’s no sex tape, and you’ll never guess who “the mystery woman behind it” is.

Sarah Palin? Christine O’Donnell? Tina Fey?

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

The mystery woman behind the Glenn Beck sex tape scandal is….

Michelle Obama!

“Michelle Obama behind savage attempt to ruin President’s No. 1 enemy, insiders say,” the Globe headlines on page 57.

The tabloid reports a “bizarre plot” revolving around a “shocking offer” to pay $100,000 to “the person who will come forward with a sex tape or phone records or anything else that succeeds in removing Glenn Beck from the public eye forever.”

The “shocking offer” was made by Beau Friedlander, a former executive of the defunct Air America radio network, which was founded to give radio listeners an alternative to conservative radio hosts like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.

Now Mr. Friedlander has a lot of free time.

But “insiders” tell the Globe they’re skeptical that the plot to smear Glenn Beck was his idea.

They think the reward for the sex tape is “secretly part of the ‘dirty tricks’ Michelle, 46, is throwing at her husband’s political enemies.”

So far, there’s no Glenn Beck sex tape and there’s no evidence that Michelle Obama is behind the search for one.

But there actually is evidence that the White House is jumpy about Glenn Beck and his nightly television show on Fox News Channel.

Remember Shirley Sherrod?

She’s the Agriculture Department official who was ordered to resign — at the direction of the White House, she told CNN — after a videotape surfaced showing her telling an NAACP luncheon about the time she chose not to give more than the minimum assistance to a white farmer who came to her asking for help to save his farm from foreclosure.

The time was 24 year ago, and the point of the story was that she learned from the experience and came to understand that “we need to get beyond the Civil War”:

“It was the beginning — you know it was my first realization that it wasn’t about white, black, and white. It was about poor and limited resources. It was about those who have against those who do not have. And that’s when I really became committed to helping people who need help and not just black people.”

When the videotape was posted on the website of conservative writer and editor Andrew Breitbart, Shirley Sherrod’s phone began to ring.

“They asked me to resign,” Ms. Sherrod told CNN’s Tony Harris. “And, in fact, they harassed me as I was driving back to the state office from West Point, Georgia, yesterday. I had at least three calls telling me the White House wanted me to resign.”

Tony Harris asked her if she was willing to name names.

“Cheryl Cook, the deputy undersecretary,” Ms. Sherrod answered. “She called me and said — because she called me, and I said, ‘Cheryl, I have got a three and a half hour ride to get into Athens.’ She called me a second time, ‘Where are you now?’ I said, ‘I’m just going through Atlanta.’ She called me again and I said, ‘I’m at least 45 minutes to an hour from Athens.’ She said, ‘Well, Shirley, they want you to pull over to the side of the road and do it because you’re going to be on “Glenn Beck” tonight.’”

In fact, she was not going to be on Glenn Beck that night. The White House was afraid she was going to be on Glenn Beck that night.

The show had no plans to cover the story.

The administration of the first African-American U.S. president demanded the resignation of an African-American Agriculture Department official without even talking with her first. They didn’t even review the whole tape for the context of her remarks.

Or did they?

Do you ever watch Glenn Beck’s show? If you do, you know that he spends a lot of time tracking the Marxist leanings of people in or associated with the Obama administration.

Why did the Obama team think Glenn Beck was going to jump on the Shirley Sherrod video? Was it because she momentarily sounded like a textbook case of reverse racism? Or was it because she said this:

“It was my first realization that it wasn’t about white, black, and white. It was about poor and limited resources. It was about those who have against those who do not have.”

That’s a pretty innocuous comment.

If a man comes into your office and says, “I’ll just hang up my coat,” it’s not really much of an event.

But if a man comes into your office and says, “I’ll just hang up my coat,” and you jump out of your chair and race to the closet door and block it with your arms and kick the guy away with your legs, well, that’s something else again, isn’t it.

When the video of Shirley Sherrod’s comments became public, the Obama administration reacted like they knew there was a dead body in the closet.

The big clue is the fear of Glenn Beck.

Glenn Beck hunts Communists, without apology. With a piece of chalk and a blackboard.

“It was about those who have against those who do not have,” Shirley Sherrod said.

The administration called her three times in the car and made her pull over to the side of the road to text her resignation on her BlackBerry.

Was the administration of the first black president really afraid of being called racist? Or something else?

This week the administration took off after Forbes magazine, which has a cover article by Dinesh D’Souza on “How Obama Thinks.”

“It’s a stunning thing, to see a publication you would see in a dentist’s office, so lacking in truth and fact,” White House press secretary Robert Gibbs told the Washington Post. “I think it represents a new low.”

Mr. Gibbs had a face-to-face meeting on Thursday with Forbes’s Washington Bureau Chief, Brian Wingfield, to complain about the article.

What does it say that has the White House so exercised?

Here’s an excerpt:

“It may seem incredible to suggest that the anticolonial ideology of Barack Obama Sr. is espoused by his son, the President of the United States. That is what I am saying. From a very young age and through his formative years, Obama learned to see America as a force for global domination and destruction. He came to view America’s military as an instrument of neocolonial occupation. He adopted his father’s position that capitalism and free markets are code words for economic plunder. Obama grew to perceive the rich as an oppressive class, a kind of neocolonial power within America. In his worldview, profits are a measure of how effectively you have ripped off the rest of society, and America’s power in the world is a measure of how selfishly it consumes the globe’s resources and how ruthlessly it bullies and dominates the rest of the planet.”

You can read the whole article here, at Forbes.com.

Of course, if you read America Wants To Know, you were tipped to this anticolonial streak in the president very early in the administration. February 22, 2009, to be exact:

Barack Obama, Angry Colonial

And as long as we’re saying, “I told you so,” enjoy this America Wants To Know post from September 27, 2008:

Speaker Boehner!

We’ll have to take our psychics into the shop and get them calibrated. They’re running about two years fast.

© 2010

Susan Shelley posted at 2010-9-16 Category: Uncategorized