Tabloid update: "Obama Love Child Scandal!"
This week's Globe tabloid devotes half its cover to a picture of Barack Obama and the words "Obama Love Child Scandal!" spelled out in block letters.
On pages 16 and 17 you'll find a picture of Barack Obama with his daughter Sasha, and a 1979 photo of Senator Obama with some of his high school senior year classmates in Honolulu. "There is no suggestion that any of the girls in the photo were romantically involved with Obama," the caption reports.
Everyone in the high school photo is dressed up, or what passed for dressed up in the 1970s. There is a tea set on the coffee table, and someone on the left side of the photo is holding a plate of cookies.
So where's the love child?
There's no love child.
The "love child scandal" the Globe is reporting is a $1 million reward offered by "a well-financed political hit squad" for "any detailed information about an illicit child."
So far, nothing.
The Globe did find a source to divulge this: "Obama has freely admitted to love affairs when he was a single student, and that is where the investigators are concentrating their efforts. There was a Russian girl in New York he fell for when he was a college student. Also, he dated during his high school years in Hawaii."
Holy Hustler, the Democrats have nominated someone who dated in high school!
Will they never learn???!!!
We're so disappointed.
We thought the Globe really had something this time. We thought they were going to report Barack Obama's attempted rape of Exxon Mobil shareholders.
Maybe next week.
Editor's note: You might be interested in the earlier posts, "Analyzing Senator Obama's handwriting," and "Tabloid update: 'Obama Marriage Explodes!'"