HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody? New Orleans hosted thousands of revelers for the Mardi Gras parades in the French Quarter Tuesday. Back at OU, my fraternity brothers and I loved to party in New Orleans and we learned a very important lesson about the French Quarter. Never pick up a woman wearing a Super Bowl ring. Martha Stewart sold her culinary skills to a Canadian cannabis company last week, upgrading pot’s cachet. In West Hollywood, upscale Whole Foods grocery chain announced they may start offering marijuana products. It’s a sure indicator that weed will soon be more expensive than cocaine. Stormy Daniels went onstage at the Joke Joint in Houston to perform stand-up comedy before customers paying thirty dollars a ticket last night. .I’m not surprised that Stormy is performing stand-up comedy, considering her show business resume. Over the years, she’s opened for everybody. Pope Francis held a huge Ash Wednesday service in St Peter’s Cathedral in the Vatican. The secular world has just a passing knowledge of the day’s solemnity. Ash Wednesday is the one day of the year when people in Beverly Hills aren’t sure if the gas station attendant is Mexican or Hindu. The Weather Channel reports a brutal Polar Vortex paralyzed the Midwest this week leaving people freezing in zero degree temperatures. The chill spared no one. Out on the presidential campaign trail, it was so cold in Iowa that Bernie Sanders’s teeth were chattering, on the night stand. The London Daily Mail reported that a family in a small town in Germany was unable to pay their gas bill, phone bill and water bill for the month of February last week. So the city seized the family’s dog and sold it on eBay. Say what you like about the Germans, but it could have been worse. The Hollywood Reporter says Will Smith won the role to play the father of Venus and Serena Williams despite carping from critics who feel Will is not black enough. That could be true. Will Smith’s been driving around Los Angeles for thirty years and not once have the cops pulled him over. The White House stated the door is open for a third summit between Trump and Kim Jung Un this year. Last week was a letdown. The president came back from Asia without a happy ending, proving once and for all New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft is a better negotiator than Trump. CBS Sports spread out this week to cover all the college conference basketball tourneys which determine the sixty-five teams in the national playoffs this year, as March Madness gets under way. I can’t wait to fill out my March Madness brackets card. This year, I’m picking IRS to take it all. Parliament is moving to block Internet porn in England and issuing viewing cards that will be taxed. The last time they tried something like this, tons of tea got dumped in Boston Harbor and they lost the Colonies. Once the porn protests rise up you don’t want to be anywhere near the Thames. The L.A. Times says only thirty percent of Californians are Republicans. They make it difficult to join the club. To register as a Republican in California, you must show your driver’s license and Social Security card, then furnish proof positive that you have never, ever had an actor in your family. Johnny Manziel had to return to the U.S. Friday after he was cut by his CFL team for violating his good behavior clause. I thought my youthful dissipation was spectacular, but has Manziel just become the first man in history to be kicked out of Canada for drinking? It only took me one drink to get me drunk, but the trouble is, I could never remember if it was the thirteenth or fourteenth drink.
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